Passing on the New Year

Talking about death during Chinese New Year is pantang or taboo. But since I take death as inseparable part of life, let's break the taboo.

I have met all of my biological siblings except for my 2nd sister. When my siblings came to visit me during CNY and told me about my 2nd sister, it turned out she passed away from breast cancer last April, while I was in my own cancer struggle. My other siblings didn't tell me about it lest I get depressed about it. But her cancer journey is a celebration of life. She had the cancer ten years ago, was treated and in remission until four years ago when it came back.

I think it is remarkable. She managed to see her kids grow up and become independent. She also found solace in Buddhism and accepted the cycles of life. She requested that her kids wear red at her funeral because she wants it to be a happy occasion. Usually Chinese funeral sees the children of the deceased wearing black and somber colours for others.

I remarked to my siblings that her extra years of remission are like bonuses. She managed to care and watch her kids grow up, and gaining those extra years was a blessing indeed.

The 2nd news I got during CNY was the death of my UPM senior. FCY is a remarkable and dynamic person as I remember him. His name always crop up in new projects and he made a great name at the places he worked. I remembered being interviewed by him and was about to join him at a golf resort as a horticulturist, when I accepted another offer. He had liver cancer and passed on very quickly after the diagnosis, on the 6th day of CNY. Such is the vagaries of life...

Another news of death I received is about a fellow lung cancer patient; LF. Ms K kept me informed about LF's cancer journey. She was on the same qigung class as Ms K, and Ms K was very concerned about LF condition because she is not on chemo nor radio, but depended on a direct-selling product and a Chinese traditional medicine doctor or sinseh.

Although LF was coughing badly and obviously deteriorating to all others who saw her, LF's sinseh insisted that she is having the famous/infamous "healing crisis". The sinseh claims that her coughing is a way her body is expelling the impurities. This sounds eeriely like my experience last May.

I was increasingly unable to breath yet my own sinseh keep commenting that I look better than the last time she saw me! Eventually I could hardly breathe and had to be on an oxygen machine when I was admitted to NCI. When I asked her why she could not detect that my lungs are filling up fast with fluid, she just kept quiet.

Anyway, LF's condition deteriorated towards CNY and she died peacefully on the 2nd day of CNY. Somehow I feel someone should confront her sinseh for her fatal misdiagnosis. It just leave a bad taste in the mouth that the sinseh's misdiagnosis may have robbed LF from seeking useful help.

But all is water under the bridge now.

I wish my late 2nd sister all the best whenever she is now. She has indeed found peace in the final moments in this life. She left this body and this life at peace with herself. She also managed to prepare her siblings and family for her eventual demise.

FCY my UPM senior's life also touched & inspired so many people. I hope his life will be celebrated too while we mourn his passing away.

And LF, may you be well and happy.