Monday, May 16

Turbulent 2000s

The turn of the 21st century is definitely a unique experience for my family. My family have the final and maybe the best times when I invited my mom, dad and sister to Europe in the year 2000. I was working in Germany then. We had a great time travelling thru Europe summer of 2000.

The old folks's health went downhill after that. In the year 2001, my dad was very ill. When I depart to work in Germany in 1999, I promised myself I won't stay too long away from the old folks, so my dad's illness prompted me to return to Malaysia end of 2001. It was a difficult time for the whole family; we never realised his physical illness was accompanied with beginning of dementia. I came back to a different dad, and it was a horrible time the rest of the family too.

In the middle of 2001, my grandma broke her back due to oestoporosis. She too is having beginning of dementia. Again, we don't know for sure what's happening. In December 2001, my mom who was the primary care giver, had an heart attack. So all three old folks were afflicted with illness at the same time by the end 2001.

My sister stopped her business and became a full time caregiver to THREE old folks. No one, I say NO ONE, can ever understand the challenge of taking care of 3 old folks with different illness, and two with growing dementia. That is why I will always admire my sister as one who has the fortitude to go thru all this. No one can ever speak ill of her in front of me, and no one ever better try.

The years 2002 and 2003 were indeed our
annus horribilis. The peak of trouble was in 2003 where the my dad was warded in the hospital twice for a month each time, and my grandma once. There was a time when I took care of my dad on the 5th floor of the Seremban Hospital, and my sister took care of my grandma at the 3rd floor of the same hospital at the same time!

Things stabilised in the year 2004. Mom had a successful heart by-pass operation early 2004. My consultancy practice and activism is doing well, and the health of the old folks stabilising. We are beginning to understand and cope with the mental challenge of caring for dementia patients. I thought things will get better in the year 2005.

Well, I had my first cancerous symptom in Argentina in December 2004. I had pericardial effusion where fluid accumulated in the sac of the heart. The doctors drained nearly 1 litre of hemorrhage fluid from the pericardium, and I also had pleural effusion where 1 litre of fluid accumulated in the right lung. These fluid made breathing difficult and would have scarred the heart. But the doctors don't know for sure what caused these fluid accumulation. I was in the hospital for 6 days.

I came back from Argentina and a week later have to arrange for the funeral of grandma, who passed away on 26 Dec 2004 (the day the tsunami hit). Then my dad passed away on 7 February 2005. And a week later I had the 2nd pericardial effusion and was hospitalised.
I was so sad there is no respite for my sister the caregiver.

This time I had a tube attached from the pericardium for 2 weeks while the doctors drained the fluid out nearly everyday, and in the end of two weeks, nearly 2.7 litres of bloodied fluid was drained from the pericardium. I was in the hospital for 3 weeks, and only in the end of the 2nd week the doctors confirmed its cancer.

I was discharged but only had a week of freedom before the 3rd episode of pericardium effusion. This time I was admitted to the National Heart Institute (IJN). The doctors did a 7-hour heart surgery to open a window in the pericardium so that the fluid will drain to the lungs rather than the pericardium. I was warded for a week.

The story until now; after tests, biopsies and scans at the Seremban Hospital, NCI Cancer Hospital, IJN and Nuclear Medicine Centre; the status of the cancer: both my lungs, skeleton, lymph nodes and brain. The radiotherapy really relieved the pain and congestion at the chest lymph nodes and C6 vertebra. My wish is the tumors stays where they are now and let's take it from there. Let the current situation be the baseline.

This chain of events really makes one wonder if there is a meaning in it all. The human mind want to search for a pattern. It can just be a random universal play, targetting no one.

But one result of the turbulent 2000s is our family grew closer. We are challenged in how we see and react with each other. Each day brings new discovery. All of us found strength we never knew we had, and we cherish the new aspects of the person we thought we knew all along.

Let's see what other adventures the rest of the 21st century will bring to my family...