NCI Cancer Hospital (http://www.nci.com.my)
Saw the NCI doctors again. Had a discussion with Dr Kana and Dr Selva on next steps. We talked again about the brain radiotherapy (RT). It's either I continue on the steroid with its side-effects(and steroids is just to relieve symptoms and don't do much to the tumours) or do RT. I expressed my fears about the RT; especially the long term effects such as dementia. But at this moment, what is "long term" for me? And then it's not a given that any long term effects will show up.
After hearing their explaination about brain RT, some of my fears are alleviated. It is not an easy decision to make, but I have less fear now. And about the long term effects, well, maybe I should cross the bridge when the time comes.
The bottomline is - I just don't want to be alive only in the physical form but the mind is gone, I have seen dementia patients and always ask what's the point of all this? And the burden on the caregiver is horrendous...but then again, we won't know what will actually happen...it is better to focus on my quality of life NOW than worrying about the future. Que sera sera? :)
Anyway, we had a good discussion and some good laughs too.
Dr Selva was quite taken aback with my good progress with Iressa. He thought I was making it up..hehehe ;) But the Iressa is indeed helping and I am glad for it....it's the quality of life, people!
We talked further on Iressa, and Dr Kana explained more about the side effects...well..I can tolerate those cosmetic side effects if I can breathe well! Dr Kana also talked about the financial side effects and ...yes...we are well aware of that and its about time I earn some moolah! :)
After hearing their explaination about brain RT, some of my fears are alleviated. It is not an easy decision to make, but I have less fear now. And about the long term effects, well, maybe I should cross the bridge when the time comes.
The bottomline is - I just don't want to be alive only in the physical form but the mind is gone, I have seen dementia patients and always ask what's the point of all this? And the burden on the caregiver is horrendous...but then again, we won't know what will actually happen...it is better to focus on my quality of life NOW than worrying about the future. Que sera sera? :)
Anyway, we had a good discussion and some good laughs too.
Dr Selva was quite taken aback with my good progress with Iressa. He thought I was making it up..hehehe ;) But the Iressa is indeed helping and I am glad for it....it's the quality of life, people!
We talked further on Iressa, and Dr Kana explained more about the side effects...well..I can tolerate those cosmetic side effects if I can breathe well! Dr Kana also talked about the financial side effects and ...yes...we are well aware of that and its about time I earn some moolah! :)
posted by Hee Boon at 5:26 pm
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