...Oh! Ye of little faith..!

It is easy to be optimistic and courageous when things are going fine or improving. The crunch comes when setback occurs, then let's see how you deal with it.

When I detected pain and breathlessness last Tuesday, I had a sudden depression. I threw a tantrum, shed tears and my resolve crumbled. Yes, optimism is such a fragile thing!

I neglected to practice my qigung and Reiki regularly when I needed it most, and thoughts of frustration assailed me. As the pain at my back became sharper, and the breathlessness became more noticable, the memories of my previous pericardium effusion and breathlessness episodes came back. Doubts began to creep in whether what I have been doing is correct.

I went back to the books that have given me comfort in the earlier days of my healing journey; Ian Gawler's "You can conquer cancer" and Shivani Goodman's "9 Steps to reverse or prevent cancer & other diseases". Re-read them and they helped to rebuild my resolve. Reading them again with new eyes since first reading them 7 months ago.

Well, I have asked for small setbacks to make life interesting...so let's make this a mini crisis!