Miracle

I am feeling very much better now. But I have no illusion about my situation. I know everyday I able to wake-up pain-free and have a trouble-free day is a miracle; a bonus in my existence which I am very thank you for. I cherish each day and a trouble free day is a chance for me to concentrate on my psychology and emotional strength.

Today is supposed to be the start of my brain radiotherapy. I have decided to tell Dr Selva I won't do it for now. I want to hold back as long as possible any radiation to my brain. The brain is the seat of my personality, intelligence and consciousness. Possible side effect is a change in all these. I don't want that to happen. My mind is the one thing I have control now, and I intend to control it as long as possible. I want to be aware!

I am fully aware also what will happen if the tumors at the brain continue to grow and spread; that is a risk I will take, a gamble.